An old couple went to see their doctor. When the doctor asked what the problem was, the old lady responded, "He doesn't satisfy me in bed anymore." The doctor suggested the couple provide him with a specimen so he could take a sperm count and he sent the couple home with a glass jar.
They returned to the doctor's office a few days later with the jar still empty. The doctor asked if there was a problem in providing the specimen. The old man replied, "Well, doctor, I'm sorry. I tried it with my left hand and I tried it with my right hand. Then the wife tried it with her left hand and she tried it with her right hand. Nothing happened. I held on to it while the old lady tried it with both hands. Hell, she even took out her false teeth and tried it with her gums. I'm awful sorry, doctor, but we just can't get the damn lid off your jar!"
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