YOU ARE 47

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but hold old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the main said, feeling really happy.

Next he goes into McDonald's for lunch. He asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh, you look like you're about 29." "I am actually 47!" This makes him feel really good.

While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for two minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."

Since there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let the old woman slip her hand down the front of his pants. Two minutes later she says, "OK, I'm done. You are 47." Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"

The old lady replied, " I was standing right behind you at McDonalds."