TOMMY

 A first grade teacher, Miss Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students, Tommy. She asked, "Tommy, what is your problem?" Tommy answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"

The teacher had heard enough and took Tommy to the principal's office. While Tommy waited in the outer office, Miss Brooks explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told her that he would give Tommy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave himself.

Tommy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. The principal asked, "What is 3 x 3?" Tommy replied, "9." "What is 6 x 6?" "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. Miss Brooks said to the pricipal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Tommy both agreed.

Miss Brooks asked, "What does a cow have four of that I only have two of?" After a moment, Tommy said, "Legs." She then asked, "What do you have in your pants that I do not have in mine?" The principal wondered why she would ask such a question. Tommy replied, "Pockets." She then asked, "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Tommy responded, "Pants." The principal sat there with his mouth hanging open. Miss Brooks next asked Tommy, "What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?" Tommy replied, "Bubble gum." She then asked, "What does a man do standing up that a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Tommy said, "Shake hands." The principal was trembling.

Finally, Miss Brooks asked, "What word starts with an F and ends with a K and means a lot of heat and excitement? Tommy said, "Firetruck." The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told Miss Brooks, "Put Tommy in the fifth grade! I got the last seven questions wrong myself!"