A man comes home from work and tells his wife he's sorry that he forgot her birthday but he'll buy her a nice present and give it her tomorrow. She says, "Well, if you really love me you'll bring me something that will go from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds." The husband says "Ok".
The next day he comes home from work and tells his wife her present is in the driveway. She excitedly runs outside to the driveway. . . . .and finds a bathroom scale.
HOW THE FIGHT CONTINUED. . . .
Getting ready for bed that night the wife said, "Honey, just look at me. My legs are heavy, my thighs are getting big, and my boobs are starting to sag. I could really use a compliment right now!"
Her husband replied, "You have really good eyesight!"
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