Sunday, May 17, 2015

THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop "n Serve" and "Pop 'N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy will be buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozen of celebrities are expected to turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The gravesite is expected to be piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was considered a very smart cookie but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at time, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughbot is survived by his wife, Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.


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